And then the fight started..

MORNING SEX
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast,
wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly,
'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
My eyes lit up and I thought,
'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment,
I embraced her and then gave it my all,right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her 'T' shirt
still around her neck.
A little puzzled, I asked,'What was that all about?'
She explained, ........'The egg timer's broken.
And then the fight started..
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I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said,'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....
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Expensive
When I got home last night,
My wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
So,.... I took her to a gas station.....
And then the fight started....
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Old Age Pension

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for the Old Age Pension.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and comeback later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Age Pension application.
When I got home,I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....