A modern day cowboy

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the
Texas plains without water.

His horse has already died of thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has
breathed his last breath,
when all of a sudden he sees an object
sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and
discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no
ordinary genie.

She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management
Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.

There's a calculator in her pocketbook.
She has a
pencil tucked behind one ear.. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie..
You know how I work....You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy... 'I'm
not going to trust a FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no
transportation and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides
that the genie is right.

'OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of
food and drink.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis
he has ever seen.
And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of
delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

** *POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better
make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...
'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need
me.'

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

***********************************************

Moral of the story:

If the government offers to help you, there's going to
be a string attached.